Nothing compares..

I heard this song while I was driving today. It always moves me. Talk about OLD SCHOOL!

Just me

The first time I ever saw the movie Forrest Gump I was too young to understand why he started running and couldn't stop.

I get it now.

Distraught, confused, heartbroken, restless, angry, dismayed. So he ran and ran and ran and ran.

I want to run. I want to pull all my hair out. I want to throw myself on the floor like a child who didn't get that .99 cent toy in the checkout line. I want to give up. I want to quit. I want to shut down.

But I won't do it this time. I quit once before but I'm better and stronger now. I will make it.

I am no longer living this life to please anyone else. I've spent my entire life trying to make everyone happy. It's my turn. All my energy goes to me. Call me selfish, but it's MY time.

There is no room in my life right now for insincerity, games, drama, and other people's angst.

It's all about me now.  Take it or leave it.

TAWANDAAAAAAA!!! (What movie is THIS from???)

My bucket list update

Remember when I posted my "before I turn 30 bucket list"?

I have officially ridden in an airplane for the first time in 4 years. I can't say I wasn't a *little* psycho, but I got on and I did NOT run down the aisle during take off. Not that I've ever done that before.

Last week I went to Wilmington, DE to visit my best friend. It's been toooo long since we spent time together. We spent a couple of days on the beach, visited Atlantic city where a sea gull crapped on my camera bag and I won 76.00 dollars. AND we spent some time driving and looking at the landscapes and beautiful buildings in the surrounding areas. Jus and Gus were fabulous about stopping and letting me take photos!

Now more on that bucket list: I get to cross some stuff off!!

1. Go Dancing!

2. Go white water rafting

3. Run 1 mile without stopping just to be able to say that I can

4. Ride on a plane without letting my phobic behavior get the best of me. (or have me banned from an airline)
5. Experience Spain/Europe as a thin person so I can actually enjoy the endless walking and site seeing (coming soon!!)
6. Frolick unashamedly in a bathing suit in a public place
7. Make some NEW friends and spend time with the old ones ( a work in progress!)
8. Visit my BFF in Delaware! (Love you and miss you!)
9. Volunteer with an animal rescue

10. Ride in a hot air balloon

No, I did not know...

It's almost the end....of the first Summer School session! Hallelujah. Seriously, as one of my students pointed out...I feel like I have sold my soul to the devil. I long to be LAZY. But....there are bills to be paid and camera "stuff" to be bought...so I will march on bravely to Session 2.

The day is more bearable when a student says things like-

 "Mrs. Edwards....did you know that if a male athlete squats too much his testes will fall out his butt?" (giggling to myself as I type)

or

"Summer school is bullshit, I'm going to pass all my classes next year."


I like to keep track of the things students say...maybe I'll write a book one day. I am incredibly obsessed with the bullfrogs at the pond. These things are massively huge. It's very impressive.

I named him Fred. This is his area of the pond and I can always count on him being here. Fred will chase water splashes thinking it has to be food.

Fred staring at smaller competition for food. He was giving the little guy some hard looks.

The "little one" took off and Fred chased him. They leaped around for awhile! I was like a kid in a candy store watching them. I want some pet frogs. They are the coolest.

My husband tried to get some pictures and went too far into the mud....and busted his butt. It was one of those surreal things that happen in slow motion. I laughed hysterically for a looong time. The turtle thought it was funny too.

Now...what the HELL is this? It was 4-5 feet in length...it swam in circles and then disappeared under the water. I didn't see it come up anywhere. I've never seen whatever it is before.

I must go get my latte. Enjoy your day!

One of those days!

Even after losing nearly 200 pounds...there are still days when I feel fat and wrinkly. 

What a cold day! I hate not feeling the sun on my skin. We took Missy for a walk after work..it was pretty gross outside. I didn't have fun at all and the ducklings weren't out.

I wish today was as nice as Saturday..I spent most of the day outside. I went to a lighting/photography workshop in the morning.My favorite part (besides good conversation with a friend) was the surprise in the canal at Las Colinas. This monster was hanging out watching everyone ride by in the gondolas. Some old weirdo was poking it and trying to make it angry so I could get a good shot.

After the workshop I went to my new favorite place. The nature preserve in Plano. There is a hidden pond with all kinds of surprises. You just have to look around....

This guy watched me for a very long time before he scampered off. I gasped with total delight when I saw him. He really looked like this too!

Wanna see something gross?

Yes...it's guts are being squeezed out. Sweet.

and then...another surprise! I almost missed him.

And finally...I can't end my weekend in pictures without a duck shot. I love them so much. 

I don't have any pictures from Sunday...I spent the whole day working at the Gap. And then put in my two weeks notice. It's time to have some fun in life. I can't wait for summer time...the pool is calling me!

My 30 year bucket list

I got up this morning and went out with a bunch of strangers to take pictures...it was fun for me despite my ridiculous and hopefully not so obvious social anxiety. As I was breathing through the anxiety,  I contemplated on the things I have avoided doing during my life because of my feelings of inadequacy. I've decided that I'm not missing out on anymore of the things I want to do ..even if it's uncomfortable for me. I'm making a bucket list of things to do before I'm 30.

I'll cross them off as I do them and probably add some along the way! Some of my friends may need to help me out with these. (I know you guys are reading..I see how many hits I get on my site.)

1. Go Dancing!

2. Go white water rafting

3. Run 1 mile without stopping just to be able to say that I can

4. Ride on a plane without letting my phobic behavior get the best of me. (or have me banned from an airline)

5. Experience Spain/Europe as a thin person so I can actually enjoy the endless walking and site seeing

6. Frolick unashamedly in a bathing suit in a public place

7. Make some NEW friends and spend time with the old ones

8. Visit my BFF in Delaware! (Love you and miss you!)

9. Volunteer with an animal rescue

10. Ride in a hot air balloon

FRIDAY!

It's Friday! Time to do the Friday dance! I walked into class this morning and the students wanted to listen to music while they worked on their projects. So I put on this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

They were angry with me. Once it's in your head...it's there.

I'm looking forward to the weekend more than I have all year long. I love the transition to warm pretty weather. It makes me want to kick my shoes off and frolick in clover.

This weekend I plan to get some good pictures with a new gadget I ordered for my camera. Of course, there will be  a few hours wasted spent earning a few extra dollars at the GAP. I'm saving money for a lower body lift that will get rid of the excess skin on my stomach and the "shelf" of skin on my hips. It feels weird to have pretty legs now and skin hanging everywhere else. It throws off the balance for me..I can't wait to finish my body sculpting. My surgeon is going to do so much work on me he might as well tattoo his initials on my butt and claim me as a work of art.